One of the decisions couples often ask me about when planning their wedding day is whether or not to do a first look.

And honestly? There is no right answer. I don’t think every couple needs to do a first look, and I don’t think you should do one simply because your photographer, family, or friends tell you that you should.

Instead, I recommend thinking about what you want your wedding day to actually feel like—and how you want to spend the time between your ceremony and reception.

What is a first look?

A first look is when the couple chooses to see each other before the ceremony rather than waiting for the traditional walk down the aisle. Usually, the couple has a private moment together before moving into portraits and the rest of the wedding-day timeline.

It can be a really meaningful part of the day. You get to see each other, take a breath, and have a few quiet moments together before everything gets underway.

But a first look isn’t something you need to do to have a relaxed or enjoyable wedding day.

Why might a first look make sense for you?

1. You want to spend cocktail hour with your guests

This is probably the biggest practical reason I recommend considering a first look. If attending most or all of cocktail hour is a priority for you, completing some—or even the majority—of your portraits before the ceremony can make a huge difference.

Without a first look, you’ll typically need to fit at least some combination of family portraits, wedding-party portraits, and couple portraits into cocktail hour. Depending on your timeline, that can mean missing a significant portion of the time you could otherwise spend with your guests. If you have a lot of friends and family traveling from out of town, or you simply want to be present for as much of your reception as possible, this is worth considering.

2. It becomes especially helpful later in the year

The time of year you get married can make this decision more important from a photography and timeline perspective.

As you get further into fall and toward the end of the year, the daylight fades much earlier. If you have your heart set on outdoor portraits in natural light, there may not be enough daylight after a late-afternoon ceremony to comfortably fit all of the portraits you’d like to take. In those situations, doing a first look and completing all—or the majority—of your portraits before the ceremony can be extremely helpful.

This doesn’t necessarily mean you have to do every photo beforehand. We can still take a few portraits after the ceremony if you’d like, especially if there is a beautiful moment of light or you want a few just-married photos. But getting the bulk of them done earlier gives us much more flexibility.

3. You like the idea of having a private moment together

Weddings can be wonderfully chaotic. There are people everywhere, schedules to keep up with, and a lot happening at once. A first look gives you an intentional pause together before the day really gets going. I usually encourage couples to simply experience the moment rather than immediately turning it into a photo session. I’ll give you space to see each other, talk, hug, laugh, cry—whatever feels natural.

Then, once you’ve had that moment, we can move into portraits.

So, should you do a first look?

My biggest advice is to make the decision based on your priorities, not what you think you’re supposed to do.

If spending cocktail hour with your guests is important to you, a first look can be a great way to create more time for that. It’s also particularly helpful for weddings later in the fall and winter when we’re working with limited daylight. If the anticipation of seeing each other for the first time at the ceremony is something you’ve always dreamed about, don’t give that up just because someone told you a first look makes the timeline easier.

Your wedding day should reflect the two of you. As your photographer, my job is to help you build a timeline that supports the experience you want—not to convince you that there is one “correct” way to get married.